Tuesday, January 24, 2012

A Perfect Example of Government Control.

Yesterday I did a post on government control and it reminded me of a story I heard a while back, Here is what would probably happen if Noah had to build the ark today. Sad but true.


And the Lord spoke to Noah: ''In six months I'm going to make it rain until the whole earth is covered with water and all the evil people are destroyed. But I want to save a few good people, and two of every kind of living thing on the planet. I am ordering you to build Me an Ark.''
And in a flash of lightning He delivered the specifications for an Ark.
''Okay," said Noah, trembling in fear and fumbling with the blueprints.
''Six months, and it starts to rain,'' thundered the Lord. ''You'd better have my Ark completed, or learn how to swim for a very long time.''
And six months passed. The skies began to cloud up and rain began to fall. The Lord saw that Noah was sitting in his front yard, weeping. And there was no Ark.
''Noah," shouted the Lord, "where is my Ark?'' A lightning bolt crashed into the ground next to Noah, for emphasis.

''Lord, please forgive me," begged Noah. "I did my best, but there were big problems. First I had to get a building permit for the Ark construction project, and your plans didn't meet code. So I had to hire an engineer to redraw the plans. Then I got into a big fight over whether or not the Ark needed a fire sprinkler system. My neighbors objected claiming I was violating zoning by building the Ark in my front yard, so I had to get a variance from the city planning commission.
Then I had a big problem getting enough wood for the Ark because there was a ban on cutting trees to save the spotted owl. Then the carpenters formed a union and went out on strike. I had to negotiate a settlement with the National Labor Relations Board before anyone would pick up a saw or a hammer. Now we got 16 carpenters going on the boat, and still no owls.
Then I started gathering up the animals, and got sued by an animal rights group. They objected to me taking only two of each kind. Just when I got the suit dismissed, EPA notified me that I couldn't complete the Ark without filing an environmental impact statement on your proposed flood.
Then the Army Corps of Engineers wanted a map of the proposed new flood plain. I sent them a globe. And the IRS has seized all my assets claiming I'm trying to avoid paying taxes by leaving the country, and I just got a notice from the state about owing some kind of use tax. I really don't think I can finish your Ark for at least another five years,'' Noah wailed.
The sky began to clear. The sun began to shine. A rainbow arched across the sky. Noah looked up and smiled.

''You mean you're not going to destroy the earth?'' Noah asked, hopefully.

  
The Lord said “No the government beat me to it”

18 comments:

  1. *sigh* And all the people said"Amen".

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    1. "Amen", CoolChange, thanks for stopping by.

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    1. Heroditus Huxley, Me and you both my friend.

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  3. Yes this is how life is now. Funny the connection because as were the days of Noah is Biblical...

    Jennifer

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    1. Humble wife, you are correct the bible does say that.

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  4. You want me to build a giant boat in six months in a non-right-to-work state....riiiggghhhtttt who is this really?

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    1. Odysseus, Yes someone would have a hard time believing that today if God spoke to them.

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  5. Sad isn't it, yet very true in today's world. Like CoolChange said, Amen.

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    1. Stephen, It is sad, I wish the government would just leave me alone.

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  6. Outstanding one of your best posts yet !!!

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    1. Rob, Thanks for checking in my friend.

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  7. Don't forget that some politician will want his palm greased and a photo op...because it was "his" idea to save the animals. Good one, bud.

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    1. Hillbilly, absolutely correct, they all are publicity hounds.
      thanks for the input.

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  8. Dear Duke - the last two posts were awesome! thanks buddy!

    your friend,
    kymber

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